Tuesday, November 08, 2005
12:35 AM
Ahhh.. Finally things came to a end le.. Some people are happy and some are sad.. But trust me that there are more people happy then those who are sad.. Somehow im glad that its all over somehow im not.. maybe thats just life ba LOLZ~ After seeing alot thing happening around me i found out that junan loves strong women.. STRONG not as in one punch and i flew.. strong in all sorts of way.. Her mind is strong and know what she reallys wants never indecisive.. And of course independent on her own never reply on people to live and just live the way she wants and all.. Yea.. junan loves strong women.. It will be really nice if i met this type of gers ar hehe..
Sad to say but i really really try my best holding on le.. But now im crush underneath struggling for help.. Guess i just have to give up and live things my way.. Im a selfish guy and im not giving in anymore.. Please understand my stubborness and let me be.. Very soon. very soon.. Someone will come and take me far far far away and give me what i really wants cause i just managed to scrap through the hands of fate and yea i serve my punishment real well.. Thankfully i didnt die or went crazy.. heheh
Im willing to step back i really dont mind anything ar.. but somehow i think i cannot hold on to it anymore le.. This thing just gets heavier and heavier each time i hold it..so heavy that its really gonna crush me.. Things really go out of hand whenever this stuid topic starts.. Nobody wants things to turn this way even after how hard ive tried it will still ended up the same way.. No need to actually wait till that time de.. But i dont know why i just know the answer already.. Dont know why the hell im even holding on to this.. This things are just not going to work i know.. Crazy but true.. The worst thing is that i keep telling myself till that time then sae ba.. This mixed feeling of anger sadness confused crazy and hopeless is really eating me up.. Dont know why but I will farking hold this thing with all the strength i have within me even though it farking crashes me i will make sure i will not even have a single thought of regrets.. Cause if this is the price to pay and i will gladly accept it even if its not what i wished i have no choice but accept it.. Why ar? why when i had a promise when i can finally be able to fufill after i swore after all these years turn out to be something so hard to me to carry? Is it you up there trying to give me all this trials to prove whether im worthy? Or is it im just a farking loser? Just becoz of a farkin promise with her and i will have to do things against my will.. Guess i will have to hold to that promise.. I swear that i will never tell you the promise ive made with her.. If it will come back it surely will one ar.. Even i didnt tell you you will also find out by yourself.. Stupid people does stupid things.. Dont know ar.. dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know ar dont know
I dont wanna be a farking bastard anymore im farking sick and regret of being a bastard please please please give me a chance to repent everything that ive done.. Just say it even you dont wanna say just say it act it do whatever you want to make me believe it.. Somehow i feel that after this things played me through once and for all, my life will be much better.. maybe its just becoz what ive owe in the past ive just paid everything after all this stuff have ended.. what will you do when you had pay all yer debts? Gonna owe something back again? Or trying to learn a lesson which going to be the same lesson for the rest of your life? its going to be a really hard time for the rest of the path ahead.. Will you stop there? will you continue? What will you do? Stop being optimistic and blind yourself with all those positive thinking.. You are not a farking lucky person if you are so farking lucky keep buying 4Ds and hope you will win this huge amount of money till you dont have to werk fer the rest of yer life.. Sadly but true that will not happen.. Maybe it will but it may not be you.. Hey you all out there if you are going to tag my board please dont give me all those pathetic optimistic comment.. I dont know why im saying that but please please spare me from those positive comments cause i just feel that those dont really help at all.. Hmmmm i farking saw a brown ladybird crawl across my farking monitor now it disappear..
Ji tao no mood to sleep im so farking tired my last story i haven even continue yet but somehow i dont really feel like talking abt it.. Guess it will be continue after sometime again.. Song is nice the smell of wind is nice also i look on my left i saw my new water bottle a cylinder shape look 45 degrees left i saw my tongue sticking crocodile cd rack.. Sadly i still see a empty luo han guo water bottle beside it lies a circular red bottle cap.. Somehow i cant really see things clearly maybe my eyes really hurts that much.. they are half closed now.. oh yea to the front left i saw my ash try out of so many white cigarette buds i saw a red cigeratte bud i took it up and it spells dunhill.. Hmmm the brand of my monitor is NEC MultiSync V730 theres 4 flat circular buttons in front.. Sianz ar Blogging is like a farking SAN storage area network.. just fer personal storage whatever sad happy or even boring shit you just type in it.. Its like those things is being emptied form your brain and disposed into bloggbin.. I cant remember what i wrote earlier le.. Just so tired and live in shadows so vague.. My memories just stop there..right there.. Going to fall any moment now.. Dont know these rubbish are good enough to capture your attention anot.. Somehow my blog is a lone blogg feel free to insert this link to yer blog ba coz i know that im lazy to add your link to my blogg.. So just read and give pessimistic comment.. I might throw in something good if you gib me a pessimistic comment.. hehe..